If You Want to Keep Your Friends, Keep Your Promises

Ya know this whole blogging thing has been really fun and thought provoking...and thank you to those who have taken the time to read it.  I enjoy writing my blog at the end of the day because it really gives me a chance to think during the day.  I try to keep my eyes open for topics that I would maybe like to write about, that spark interest and worth giving my opinion or thoughts on.  I am helping a woman with her research for her doctorates and the stuff I do is just busy work...this results in me watching movies while I do it because well, it is either that or do it in silence.  Seeing as how it is Christmas time, I have chosen Christmas movies.  All the movies thus far have had good quotes in them (hence the movie quotes in a lot of my posts).

So I want to write about hurt/hate/anger today.  Kind of random I know but it is very interesting the way it works.  I had an encounter earlier this semester where a guy was extremely rude to me and said some very hurtful things.  He is in a hard spot in life but other than being in a vulnerable position, he had absolutely no excuse for saying the things he did.  Point of the story, I didn't really care.  I had zero expectations from him and he just wasn't a super great friend anyways, so the whole "event" didn't bother me much and was easy to get over.  Yes for about a day it bothered me but then I realized I didn't care cause the guy holds no real precedence over my life....so, the reason I bring all this up...

I had an encounter today that brought up pain from past events.  It reminded me of how angry I was and how much it hurt me and I realized...The only time we ever REALLY "hate" someone or hold on to anger is when someone who is actually important in our lives hurts us or wrongs us.  It doesn't really effect us when random people do dumb or hurtful things, I mean ya it might offend us for a minute (a day or two), but we get over it.  It is the people we rely on, love, open our heart to.  When a parent hurts a child (in an emotional way) a child holds onto that, they feel the pain for a long time.  When a friend betrays a friend it hurts because you put your trust in that person, you let yourself be vulnerable...and man that feeling of ignorance or naivety really stings.  And once you've been let down it is hard to put that trust in someone again...sometimes it feels easier to not have expectations because, "where there is no expectations, there is no disappointment."

I watched Jingle All the Way today and the little boy says, "If you want to keep your friends, keep your promises"and it is so true.  One of my biggest faults is I spread myself too thin. I want to be involved in everything so I tend to over commit which can end up leaving people hanging.  This is something I realized about a year ago when someone else who does the same thing did it to me.  They over committed and I found myself waiting around and being disappointed quite frequently...that is when it really hit me...Kami, "It is easier to hear a friend say no in the first place then to have them say yes and then bail on you later".  My mom is always saying --> be impeccable with your word: do what you say your going to do.  I do my best to live by that, I know I still mess up at times but I know I am a lot better now.

I guess the point of this post is...it hard to open your heart up to friends, family, dating, it sucks being hurt.  That kind of anger and hurt can be hard to let go of, but it is important that we do...people don't mean to hurt us, they are just trying to do what is best for their lives.  Yes, sometimes their viewpoint may be quite askew and their actions completely baffling, but it is important that we understand that sometimes we just won't understand... (The whole agree to disagree thing).  We need to forgive, let go of the hurt...but also, we need to watch our actions.  Be aware of how your actions may hurt those around you, make a full assessment before making decisions...you owe it to the ones you love and care about.