I just saw Les Miserable today and man was it amazing. I absolutely loved it. There was one character I feel like we have all related to in some degree at some point in our lives and that would be the amazing Eponine. If you don't know what the movie is about or about the characters, Eponine is in love with a man but he is in love with another woman and wants Eponine to help him get her.
Talk about ultimate wing man...
This is the epitome of "men and women can't be friends"...ya you can be friends that hang out once in a while or in groups but once you start hanging out very frequently and alone...one of the two ends up falling for the other. Ya in one person's eyes they are "just friends", but the other one is probably in love with them.
How bad does that suck...sitting there "smiling" while the person you are in love with tells you about how much they love some other girl...talk about sick stomach...but then again you just keep smiling, you nod, and you tell them how great she is. You do this because you know that SHE (whoever she is), even if you see it differently, she is the one who makes him happy. She is the person who HE wants...and that is why you just keep "smiling".
You care about him enough that you would rather let your heart break and ache so that he will be happy. You just accept the fact that you will never be the one to give him what he wants.
One of Eponine's lines are "But he never saw me there"...and that may be the worst feeling of all. Feeling like you gave so much, that you tried, you put yourself out there...but he never saw you there. Talk about stab at the self esteem.
I'd say Eponine's heart ache is on the highest degree of pain and most of us have just had the "wing man" effect. This is where a guy we have a crush on tells us all about the girl he has a crush on and we just have to sit and listen...or even worse he wants us to find a way to hook him up. It's like "hello! are you THAT oblivious??"
Ya that's just one of those things that we all have to go through in the dating world....isn't it just the greatest :D
I know that sounds dumb, but my advice for you is...keep smiling...and move on...if he doesn't want to be with you then it isn't worth forcing it.
Bueno Suerte
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
Home is Where the Heart is
Wow what a great day! I feel so grateful for the people in my life. I went to lunch with some family friends (they are my 2nd family) and then I went to Leatherbys and to Temple Square with some friends. It honestly was probably the best birthday I've had that I can remember!
You know life is a wonderful thing and I've just come to realized its not always about what you do, its about who you do it with. I mean I can be doing the dumbest things with these people and it will end up being the funnest/funniest thing I've ever done. Temple square was just a happy time with all my friends and I am so grateful that they put their night aside to spend it with me.
Next time you're doing something, keep in mind the blessing it is to have those loved ones with you because honestly it wouldn't be the same without them. Everything exciting and fun I've done has been made ten times better because of the people I got to do it with. I am so grateful for the people in my life and the joy they've brought to me.
I honestly don't think I stopped smiling for a minute on my birthday because I was just so happy to be with my friends and family. So keep in mind..."Home is Where the Heart is"...it is the truest statement I think I've ever heard.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
False Perceptions
My Christmas this year was probably the best Christmas I've had in who knows how long. You see I am the youngest of 4 kids with a 4 year gap between me and my next sibling. I have always been a bit self conscious when it comes to my siblings. Worried about what they think of me and my life and worried that I'm bothering them (like younger siblings typically do) or that they think what I do is dumb...and it has got a bit tiring for me. Now don't get me wrong. My sibling are great! Ya they tease me but what family doesn't?? I was the one always being a baby and taking it so seriously...
This break I've tried to take a different approach. Not worry about any of that and just be myself. And ya know what?? It was great. I mean I'm sure they think I'm a dork and weird (cause I am) but they love me and I know that. I know this is dumb but...one of my sisters isn't the most affectionate, not very touchy feely (her hugs are worth the price of gold) and I was sitting at the table and she started playing with my hair for a minute and for as simple and as meaningless the gesture probably was to her, it meant a lot to me...and I got to spend a lot of Christmas day with my brother. In a lot of ways we are a lot alike, and it was a lot of fun to just joke around with him all day.
This post has been a bit off topic but what I wanted to get at is...
You always hear people saying, don't judge a book by its cover, or once you get to know them they're great. Well it is the same concept when you reverse it. How often are you intimidated by someone or get the vibe that someone doesn't like you but come to find out they absolutely adore you or they though you didn't like them.
Someone once told me, "I just assume that everyone I meet loves me unless they actually TELL me otherwise"...now I can't say I've been as bold as to take that mindset on, but it is a good one. We spend so much time thinking people don't like us or think we're annoying or how we should do this instead of that to please someone.
I've learned over time (and am still learning) that the more you stress, worry and tiptoe your way around, the more you annoy those around you. I know I personally like when someone feels comfortable around me and can be themselves so I guess I owe it to them to do the same...plus it makes everyone happier and more at ease in the end.
So...instead of worrying about what you and do watching what you say, be YOURSELF. You are wasting time worrying that could be spent having a good time or growing closer to those around you...you're wasting time on false perceptions that could be spent on actual thoughts and feelings.
I have always felt like "a triangle trying squeeze into a circle"...but I've come to know that people like the triangle just fine :D
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Two Babies in a Manger
Okay so I know this is a little long but I ask that you read it til the end. It is my favorite Christmas story and one that seems to choke me every time I read it. I DID NOT WRITE IT but I find it worth sharing...I hope you enjoy it, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!! My only wish is that today we remember what Christmas is about...Giving, loving, family, friends, and most of all to remember our savior Jesus Christ.
In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Department of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments and a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage. They relate the following story in their own words:
It was nearing the holiday season, 1994, time for our orphans to hear, for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word.
Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger. Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. No colored paper was available in the city. Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw. Small squares of flannel (cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia ), were used for the baby's blanket. A doll-like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States.
The orphans were busy assembling their manger as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat. He looked to be about 6-years-old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy's manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger.
Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of him and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately -- until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger. Then Misha started to ad-lib.
He made up his own ending to the story as he said,
"And when Mary laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him I have no mamma and I have no papa, so I don't have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with Him. But I told him I couldn't, because I didn't have a gift to give Him like everybody else did. But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I kept Him warm, that would be a good gift." So I asked Jesus, 'If I keep You warm, will that be a good enough gift?' And Jesus told me, 'If you keep Me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave Me.' So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and He told me I could stay with Him -- for always."
As little Misha finished his story, his eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed. The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him -- for always.
And the Americans? They had learned the lesson they had come there to teach -- that it is not what you have in your life, but Who you have in your life that really counts. We all should give thanks for the people that "keep us"- in life - and for all of God's many blessings to us: freedom from want, life, love, togetherness, and for the enduring love of Jesus Christ, the one person who keeps us warm and safe for always.
It was nearing the holiday season, 1994, time for our orphans to hear, for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word.
Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger. Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. No colored paper was available in the city. Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw. Small squares of flannel (cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia ), were used for the baby's blanket. A doll-like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States.
The orphans were busy assembling their manger as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat. He looked to be about 6-years-old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy's manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger.
Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of him and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately -- until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger. Then Misha started to ad-lib.
He made up his own ending to the story as he said,
"And when Mary laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him I have no mamma and I have no papa, so I don't have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with Him. But I told him I couldn't, because I didn't have a gift to give Him like everybody else did. But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I kept Him warm, that would be a good gift." So I asked Jesus, 'If I keep You warm, will that be a good enough gift?' And Jesus told me, 'If you keep Me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave Me.' So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and He told me I could stay with Him -- for always."
As little Misha finished his story, his eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed. The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him -- for always.
And the Americans? They had learned the lesson they had come there to teach -- that it is not what you have in your life, but Who you have in your life that really counts. We all should give thanks for the people that "keep us"- in life - and for all of God's many blessings to us: freedom from want, life, love, togetherness, and for the enduring love of Jesus Christ, the one person who keeps us warm and safe for always.
Christmas Eve
Ya know it is always so easy to jump at the crappy negatives in our lives. So easy to see the ugly bad things that happen to us...but what takes time, what really takes thought and open eyes is to see the blessings in our lives. I played pity party for a long time in my life (I'd be lying if I said I still don't have those at times or all the time, whatever.) I guess I felt cheated about my youth for a long time. I felt cheated about my dad, about my mom bein gone a lot, my sisters getting married so young I wished I was closer in age with them blah blah etc etc. When I look back now I realized wow. I had it pretty darn good...more than that I realize wow.
God really had a hand in my life.
Ya my father passed away but I always had a father figure to help play that role...whether it was my uncle Thom, my best friend's dad, my neighbor (the word neighbor seems wrong to say cause they are much more then neighbors). Point is, I always had someone who held the priesthood around me, to show me the importance of having a good man of my own someday.
No matter what the "problem" has been, there is so much to be learned from all of it. Every time life has thrown "hard" at me, God has handed me a mitt to catch it (ha ok so I know that whole mitt thing was a way lame and I debated erasing it but I thought well...I am that cheesy so it's staying) But seriously...I don't believe God is there to take away our trials, but to help us find a way through them. To help us learn and grow from them.
The important thing is we step out of the crap and see the light coming from it, to see the lessons we are learning from each experience. Yes unfortunately we don't see much of the good/light til after the fact, but if we can at least see it (whether during or after), if we can see the growing opportunity, and most importantly if we can trust. Trust that God knows our path better then we do. It'll all be okay and we will walk away a bigger and stronger person.
On this Christmas Eve I just want to say I am grateful for my family that loves and supports me. My beautiful mother who is my best friend, is always there for me, who I can turn to in the oddest hours of the day or night I know I can count on her. I am grateful for the Heaps who have always treated me like a child of their own.
But most of all I am grateful for Christ, I am grateful for the sacrifice that He made so I can have a second chance (or sometimes third or 4th)...that he gave his life that I may repent of my sins and return to my fathers in heaven someday. I am grateful that I am not alone in this cruel world, that whatever pain I'm feeling someone else understands. But most of all I am grateful for His individual love for ME.
God really had a hand in my life.
Ya my father passed away but I always had a father figure to help play that role...whether it was my uncle Thom, my best friend's dad, my neighbor (the word neighbor seems wrong to say cause they are much more then neighbors). Point is, I always had someone who held the priesthood around me, to show me the importance of having a good man of my own someday.
No matter what the "problem" has been, there is so much to be learned from all of it. Every time life has thrown "hard" at me, God has handed me a mitt to catch it (ha ok so I know that whole mitt thing was a way lame and I debated erasing it but I thought well...I am that cheesy so it's staying) But seriously...I don't believe God is there to take away our trials, but to help us find a way through them. To help us learn and grow from them.
The important thing is we step out of the crap and see the light coming from it, to see the lessons we are learning from each experience. Yes unfortunately we don't see much of the good/light til after the fact, but if we can at least see it (whether during or after), if we can see the growing opportunity, and most importantly if we can trust. Trust that God knows our path better then we do. It'll all be okay and we will walk away a bigger and stronger person.
On this Christmas Eve I just want to say I am grateful for my family that loves and supports me. My beautiful mother who is my best friend, is always there for me, who I can turn to in the oddest hours of the day or night I know I can count on her. I am grateful for the Heaps who have always treated me like a child of their own.
But most of all I am grateful for Christ, I am grateful for the sacrifice that He made so I can have a second chance (or sometimes third or 4th)...that he gave his life that I may repent of my sins and return to my fathers in heaven someday. I am grateful that I am not alone in this cruel world, that whatever pain I'm feeling someone else understands. But most of all I am grateful for His individual love for ME.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I'd like that
Okay so I may be alone in this but man, dating is a tough one...and boy do I over think things...and by things I mean EVERY. SINGLE. THING. When someone gives me an answer my mind is like "well wait did they really mean that? or did they mean this? were they just saying that to be nice? are they just sick of my questions so they're saying it to get me off their backs? should I ask in a different way? should I clarify? am I being annoying?"...well answer to the last one, yes. you are being annoying and just accept the answer for what it is.
It's hard cause you never know if someone is 'playing the game" with you and well people, I don't like the game. I'll tell you what, maybe I am a little too honest but I'll typically say it for what it is.
The hard part of dating is no one wants to seem TOO invested, that would require us to be vulnerable and open...so instead we keep it subtle, play it cool, and keep our pride on that high tower...alone. By itself. (I could go on about the ego thing, but that's a whole different post in and of itself).
So while soaking up the excitement, refraining from comments like "uh totally!", "I would love nothing more!", "that'd be the highlight of my year!"...we keep it cool and say, "I'd like that."
However I found a quote I really like...
It's hard cause you never know if someone is 'playing the game" with you and well people, I don't like the game. I'll tell you what, maybe I am a little too honest but I'll typically say it for what it is.
The hard part of dating is no one wants to seem TOO invested, that would require us to be vulnerable and open...so instead we keep it subtle, play it cool, and keep our pride on that high tower...alone. By itself. (I could go on about the ego thing, but that's a whole different post in and of itself).
So while soaking up the excitement, refraining from comments like "uh totally!", "I would love nothing more!", "that'd be the highlight of my year!"...we keep it cool and say, "I'd like that."
However I found a quote I really like...
“Never, ever underestimate the power of 'Id Like that.”
The over thinking comes on both sides...
when looking for a response, we can't seem TOO interested or excited cause we don't know how interested the other person is. We want them to know we are interested but in a "subtle" way...so we keep it simple with "I'd like that".
but then on the receiving end...it's like oh? you'd like that? that could mean 1 of 2 things, either..."sure... ya, I guess that'd be fun?" or "wow ya I'd really like that, someone finally suggested/came up with something meaningful and I'd really like that."
Ya...now you see why I over think EVERYTHING.
However...push all that aside and just go with it. Don't read into things and just go with what you see. If someone says I'd like that, take is as the 2nd option...they'd LOVE to. I know when I say I'd like that I mean the second one. I would genuinely enjoy it.
I guess the main message I'm trying to get at here is...say what you mean and with that, don't doubt what is being said. When someone says "I'd like that", go with it...don't underestimate a simple comment because odds are, they would actually LOVE to but they're just a little scared to be that enthusiastic and show their real deep down feelings.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Decemeber 21 2012
They say tomorrow will be the end of the world. I really hope it's not. I mean I really don't think it will be. I am only 21 and although I've lived longer then a lot of other people who have passed on from tragic events...I'm not ready for my life to end.
This post will be short one. I just want to remind myself and anyone who is reading this...live your life, love those around you, take every minute for what it is worth.
I really don't think the world will end tomorrow, so when it doesn't...don't just continue "going through the motions", don't coast through your day. You've been given the chance to really live, to change the lives of those around you...take that chance.
Don't be so concerned with work and studies...I mean yes make those a priority, but make God and your loved ones your FIRST priority. Your friends and family deserve you love and your time.
And lastly, "don't waste time on things that don't matter with people that do." In other words, don't fight, loosen the contention, ENJOY the time you have with the people you love. Our lives fly by and there isn't enough time to waste arguing and fighting about trivial/worldly matters that really hold no precedence over anything in the long run.
Smile...life is good.
This post will be short one. I just want to remind myself and anyone who is reading this...live your life, love those around you, take every minute for what it is worth.
I really don't think the world will end tomorrow, so when it doesn't...don't just continue "going through the motions", don't coast through your day. You've been given the chance to really live, to change the lives of those around you...take that chance.
Don't be so concerned with work and studies...I mean yes make those a priority, but make God and your loved ones your FIRST priority. Your friends and family deserve you love and your time.
And lastly, "don't waste time on things that don't matter with people that do." In other words, don't fight, loosen the contention, ENJOY the time you have with the people you love. Our lives fly by and there isn't enough time to waste arguing and fighting about trivial/worldly matters that really hold no precedence over anything in the long run.
Smile...life is good.
We're In this Together
Alright so I had another busy night with paperwork which meant A LOT of movie watching. One of the 4 movies I watched was "Life As We Know It".
The main actors are having an argument and Messer (the main guy) says, "Having someone help you doesn't mean you failed, it means you're not in it alone."
My father passed away when I was 8 and my mother wasn't home much after that happened. Whether or not I actually was, I felt like I was on my own at that point. My siblings were busy with their lives and I felt like a burden to those around me, "oh I HAVE to give Kami a ride", or "oh I HAVE to watch Kami" (again let me remind you, this is all my perception as a child not actual feelings from those people) I felt like I wasn't "worth" someone's time so in turn I changed my mindset to "I don't need them, I can do it on my own". . I never wanted to be viewed as needy or helpless and I wasn't determined to "be successful"...I was afraid of failing.
Everyone has their reasoning for not allowing people to help...they are prideful, they don't want to feel like failures, they (think) they like the idea of having done it on their own, etc etc...In my case it is probably self doubt/pride, I guess at times I feel like I am not worth someone's investment and I can just do it on my own. Sometimes I feel like people feel OBLIGATED to help me, or be around me and I HATE that. If I were to let someone help me, then they would be putting an investment in me and I guess I don't always know if I am worth it? You'll probably often hear me saying, "only if you want to", or "really though, no pressure at all." ya...lets just say it is something I am working on that I've learned in my later years is super annoying to people.
We all enjoy the satisfaction of giving...well guys in order for you to give, someone has to accept. We too need to accept the gifts from others, let others serve us, so they too can enjoy the feeling of giving.
This is why we have loans, jobs, teams, etc...we are made to get through life together, as a unit. The journey is a lot better with help from those around us. Just because you had to ask for help along the way, or LET someone help you doesn't mean you failed. It means you were bold enough to ask for help, you had enough guts to say, "Can you help me?". Which in my eyes is a lot stronger of a person then someone who thinks they have to do everything on their own. Humility triumphs pride every day of the week.
The world is too big and has too many problems for any one person to change the world or better yet, make it on their own. We are meant/made to do it together. I think we get so caught up on being successful and being THAT guy who was able to climb his way up from the bottom and make it on his own. Hello we all know that it is not WHAT you know, it is WHO you know? We were not put on earth TOGETHER to in turn do it ALONE. Humans are made to work off of one another, to rely on each other, this is how we grow together...this is how we succeed.
The main actors are having an argument and Messer (the main guy) says, "Having someone help you doesn't mean you failed, it means you're not in it alone."
My father passed away when I was 8 and my mother wasn't home much after that happened. Whether or not I actually was, I felt like I was on my own at that point. My siblings were busy with their lives and I felt like a burden to those around me, "oh I HAVE to give Kami a ride", or "oh I HAVE to watch Kami" (again let me remind you, this is all my perception as a child not actual feelings from those people) I felt like I wasn't "worth" someone's time so in turn I changed my mindset to "I don't need them, I can do it on my own". . I never wanted to be viewed as needy or helpless and I wasn't determined to "be successful"...I was afraid of failing.
Everyone has their reasoning for not allowing people to help...they are prideful, they don't want to feel like failures, they (think) they like the idea of having done it on their own, etc etc...In my case it is probably self doubt/pride, I guess at times I feel like I am not worth someone's investment and I can just do it on my own. Sometimes I feel like people feel OBLIGATED to help me, or be around me and I HATE that. If I were to let someone help me, then they would be putting an investment in me and I guess I don't always know if I am worth it? You'll probably often hear me saying, "only if you want to", or "really though, no pressure at all." ya...lets just say it is something I am working on that I've learned in my later years is super annoying to people.
We all enjoy the satisfaction of giving...well guys in order for you to give, someone has to accept. We too need to accept the gifts from others, let others serve us, so they too can enjoy the feeling of giving.
This is why we have loans, jobs, teams, etc...we are made to get through life together, as a unit. The journey is a lot better with help from those around us. Just because you had to ask for help along the way, or LET someone help you doesn't mean you failed. It means you were bold enough to ask for help, you had enough guts to say, "Can you help me?". Which in my eyes is a lot stronger of a person then someone who thinks they have to do everything on their own. Humility triumphs pride every day of the week.
The world is too big and has too many problems for any one person to change the world or better yet, make it on their own. We are meant/made to do it together. I think we get so caught up on being successful and being THAT guy who was able to climb his way up from the bottom and make it on his own. Hello we all know that it is not WHAT you know, it is WHO you know? We were not put on earth TOGETHER to in turn do it ALONE. Humans are made to work off of one another, to rely on each other, this is how we grow together...this is how we succeed.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Where does the real problem lie?
Resentment:
the feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.
Resentment towards someone can be a tough thing to handle...but how does one handle it? When someone is causing those feelings is it best to confront them and let them know how you feel? Or is it best to just let it fester and build inside? ...I think the obvious answer SHOULD be to confront the issue. Now
I'm not necessarily talking about trivial things like not putting the
toilet paper on the roll, or hair being left in the shower (which are frustrations that should be talked about", I am talking
about real resentments towards friends or family.
So many problems could so easily be solved if we would communicate our feelings. How many times have you been upset with someone, upset by their actions or words, let it anger you deep down and then come to find out you completely misunderstood the motive behind what the person did or said.
A young man made a good point today when talking about resentments. Several people made comments as to why people don't confront others such as, "we can't nut up and say it", "sometimes we feel its easier to just hate the person", "when we hate others it takes away the hate we have for ourselves", and my personal favorite answer was, "we are afraid to confront others because we are afraid to face what we are doing wrong or what may be wrong with ourselves."
I agree with that last one, it is easier to just blame others for the problem. How easy is it to just point our fingers, to put the blame on the other party is definitely the path of least resistance...no one wants to face the problems they have within themselves.
Now don't get me wrong, I am bad with confrontations. I don't like them and I avoid them...but I've realized it is important to confront the person. They deserve a defense statement (cause more likely than not I am the one with the issue) and we deserve an answer as to what happened.
Total communication with people in our life is the only way to POSITIVELY keep them in our life.
Working from the inside out
When I was a kid I was always very willing to help my friends with their chores. My friends parents would always tell my mom, "Oh Kami is just so helpful". My mother's thoughts were, "really? cause she never seems to be helping out at home." I'll be honest, I was never the most compliant when it came to doing chores or helping out my mom.
I am a believer in service, helping those that need a hand. I'm a member of several service groups, I spent 6 weeks in a foreign country with a humanitarian group, I'm attending "alternative spring break" (it is a service trip). I am not saying these things to say "oh look at me I do service, I am saying it so I can show the problem in this situation. I would say I am willing to serve others, but when it comes to my own home...I'm not the best.
We live in a world that is in need of a change. People everywhere need a helping hand, whether it is special needs, poverty, disabilities, education, etc...there are millions of different service opportunities and thousands within our own state. As important as these are, why is it we focus on these problems but can't face the problems of our own home?
It starts as a child, a kid will take piano lessons but can't take them from their own parents. Or like I mentioned the cleaning thing, willing to help their friends clean but aren't able to WILLINGLY help in their own house. This is habit forming, it follows a child to adulthood. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think this is the case with EVERY person but it has been a reoccuring problem that I've noticed in others and within myself.
It is hard because whether we like to think it or not, our family is the closest thing to our hearts. Some of you may have great families (and the problem is within) but just need to help out when asked. Some of you may be forever angered by your family, (I don't want to dig into personal things) but if that is true then you're obviously still angry because they are that close to your heart. Some of you may be avoiding the problems, or even blinded to them. It is because, when things are that personal it is hard to look it in the eye, to go at the problem head on...sometimes it is easier to avoid or ignore the problem and focus your efforts elsewhere.
Our nation has a lot of issues that need taken care of, a lot of people that need help, a lot of changes that need to be made. I'm not going to act like I know all of the issues around or all of the political changes that need to be made, but what I do know is there HAS to be a change. I strongly feel that it needs to start in the home. If we can't help our own FAMILY, the few people who are morally obligated to love us...then how are we going to help others.
Our homes are the core of our lives, that's where we were raised that's where we began and where we grew. We need to focus our efforts there first, then let it spread to the world.
Just like the world, there isn't one person or one solution that is going to fix all the problems, but during this holiday season (and every other month of the year), ask yourself how you can help. What can you do to lighten the load on your mom/dad. What can you do to help take some stress off of the family? Be that helping hand. Be willing to bring light into your home.
I am a believer in service, helping those that need a hand. I'm a member of several service groups, I spent 6 weeks in a foreign country with a humanitarian group, I'm attending "alternative spring break" (it is a service trip). I am not saying these things to say "oh look at me I do service, I am saying it so I can show the problem in this situation. I would say I am willing to serve others, but when it comes to my own home...I'm not the best.
We live in a world that is in need of a change. People everywhere need a helping hand, whether it is special needs, poverty, disabilities, education, etc...there are millions of different service opportunities and thousands within our own state. As important as these are, why is it we focus on these problems but can't face the problems of our own home?
It starts as a child, a kid will take piano lessons but can't take them from their own parents. Or like I mentioned the cleaning thing, willing to help their friends clean but aren't able to WILLINGLY help in their own house. This is habit forming, it follows a child to adulthood. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think this is the case with EVERY person but it has been a reoccuring problem that I've noticed in others and within myself.
It is hard because whether we like to think it or not, our family is the closest thing to our hearts. Some of you may have great families (and the problem is within) but just need to help out when asked. Some of you may be forever angered by your family, (I don't want to dig into personal things) but if that is true then you're obviously still angry because they are that close to your heart. Some of you may be avoiding the problems, or even blinded to them. It is because, when things are that personal it is hard to look it in the eye, to go at the problem head on...sometimes it is easier to avoid or ignore the problem and focus your efforts elsewhere.
Our nation has a lot of issues that need taken care of, a lot of people that need help, a lot of changes that need to be made. I'm not going to act like I know all of the issues around or all of the political changes that need to be made, but what I do know is there HAS to be a change. I strongly feel that it needs to start in the home. If we can't help our own FAMILY, the few people who are morally obligated to love us...then how are we going to help others.
Our homes are the core of our lives, that's where we were raised that's where we began and where we grew. We need to focus our efforts there first, then let it spread to the world.
Just like the world, there isn't one person or one solution that is going to fix all the problems, but during this holiday season (and every other month of the year), ask yourself how you can help. What can you do to lighten the load on your mom/dad. What can you do to help take some stress off of the family? Be that helping hand. Be willing to bring light into your home.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Troubling Times
When I first heard about the tragedy in Connecticut my first thoughts were, "wow that is extremely sad"...I was sad about it but to be honest it didn't really hit me DEEP. It wasn't until Saturday morning when I got up to get some food out of my fridge and look at the Christmas cards staring right back at me. I realized wow....my nieces/nephews are 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. One nephew is in 3 yr old preschool, one in 4 year old preschool, one in kindergarten, one in first grade, and one in 2nd grade.
I really began to put myself in their shoes, then it became quite overwhelming. The amount of pain and loss these people are feeling has to be nothing short of unbearable. The pain of losing a loved one is terrible...but then add the feeling of anger and resentment and you have a whole new situation. These people didn't just "lose" their loved ones, they had them taken away from them.
My reason for writing this is, in church today the topic was forgiveness. We are always taught how it is important to forgive, that in order for us to be forgiven we too must forgive. However, when we're taught these lessons we always relate them to a friend who has wronged us or someone who stole from us...no one ever talks about forgiving someone who has taken the life of our child, mother, sibling etc...forgiving a friend who lied or betrayed us is hard. It really is a hard thing to do. Forgiveness can be tough...but how, how do you ask someone to forgive the person who took the life of their child. I wish I could give you an answer, I wish it was that simple...but it just isn't.
One thing I do know is...even if someone doesn't "deserve" our forgiveness it is so important that we do just that. Contention is of the devil and it is so hard to see the beauty of the world and the light of Christ if we are consumed with anger and resentment. If we don't forgive these people it will consume us...it will keep us so focused on the ugly things this world contains that we will be blinded to the beauties that the world has to offer. Please don't misunderstand me and think I am saying this is an easy thing to do because that would be exactly opposite of what I think.
I was talking to my friend Alex about how I felt, how it was just filling me with sadness and fear, and he made a great comment...
"It is heart breaking, gut wrenching, and soul draining. But we can't be the ones to let our hearts fail us. It will be even more sad if the people of America, and more specifically the people of the church, succumb to the wickedness and think that that is just how it has to be."
I couldn't have said it better myself. If we don't take it upon us to keep finding the light and more importantly keep spreading the light, the darkness will take over. It is extremely overwhelming to look at all that needs to be done in the world, but that doesn't mean we can give up.
Point of the post...forgiveness is hard in our daily lives, forgiveness in tragedies like this--> a whole different story (undoubtedly the hardest thing these people will ever face). However --> if we don't forgive, if we don't let go of the anger and resentment then the people committing these crimes win. They will suck the light out of each one of us if we let them. It is important for us to continue to find the reason to live, to find the light and beauty in each day. To fight for the children to come.
This post is dedicated to the victims and families of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. May our hearts and prayers go out to them at this time.
Take a minute...it's worth it.
How many times have you met someone for a quick minute or even saw them in the passing and made a judgement about them...and then got to know them and realized you were completely wrong or it wasn't what you thought. There have been so many times where I assumed that someone's life was like this or that and realized that they actually have it pretty tough...in my last few years I've realized, everyone does. We all have it pretty tough for in one way or another.
People are very often misunderstood. Their actions aren't typical, they seem irrational, and sometimes they just seem a little bit off...well there is a reason why. There is always a reason behind someone's actions. Ya it might not make sense at first, but if you take a minute to look at all sides of the situation you'll see there is a reason.
My mother's house used to be what you could call a "half-way house". The people living there were people who just need a second chance. They need someone to open that door for a new life. My mom is a beautiful woman who accepts all walks of life. A young man used to live there, for privacy sake we'll call him John. John was 18 and "weird" as can be. His personality was a bit different than the average persons, he dressed in all black, and well he just was a bit different.
At first my thoughts were "this kid is the weirdest kid I've ever met". Well after taking a minute to get to know him I found out, his dad was never in his life, his mom was using drugs while pregnant with him and after she delivered him, she died of a drug overdose when he was 4, he then went to live with his aunt/uncles and they physical abused him so he ran away and was homeless for a while. Then lived with his other aunt who he still didn't get along with very well at all. That's when I realized, well DUH he is a bit different from the typical person. Look what he has been through!!
We all have a story...if we would just take a minute to get to know someone, to get to know their story, their motive behind their actions, the reason why they tick, it would be a lot easier to understand a person...to understand why they behave the way they do. Let someone in before you decide to shut them out. You never know the friendships you might form, the lives you might change, and more often then not you'll change your own life for the better more then you'll change anyone else life.
People are very often misunderstood. Their actions aren't typical, they seem irrational, and sometimes they just seem a little bit off...well there is a reason why. There is always a reason behind someone's actions. Ya it might not make sense at first, but if you take a minute to look at all sides of the situation you'll see there is a reason.
My mother's house used to be what you could call a "half-way house". The people living there were people who just need a second chance. They need someone to open that door for a new life. My mom is a beautiful woman who accepts all walks of life. A young man used to live there, for privacy sake we'll call him John. John was 18 and "weird" as can be. His personality was a bit different than the average persons, he dressed in all black, and well he just was a bit different.
At first my thoughts were "this kid is the weirdest kid I've ever met". Well after taking a minute to get to know him I found out, his dad was never in his life, his mom was using drugs while pregnant with him and after she delivered him, she died of a drug overdose when he was 4, he then went to live with his aunt/uncles and they physical abused him so he ran away and was homeless for a while. Then lived with his other aunt who he still didn't get along with very well at all. That's when I realized, well DUH he is a bit different from the typical person. Look what he has been through!!
We all have a story...if we would just take a minute to get to know someone, to get to know their story, their motive behind their actions, the reason why they tick, it would be a lot easier to understand a person...to understand why they behave the way they do. Let someone in before you decide to shut them out. You never know the friendships you might form, the lives you might change, and more often then not you'll change your own life for the better more then you'll change anyone else life.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Lost but Not Forgotten
Today was my first day of work at Catalyst. I am a mentor for young boys who are in this home to make a change in their lives whether it is because of drugs or other things that have harmed or hindered progress in their lives. We had a group session today and the shooting in Connecticut got brought up so we talked about it for a while. When I say "we" I mean they, I just sat and listened (which if you know me is a rare occasion). It was absolutely amazing to listen to these boys and their thoughts.
Boys in these situations have a stereotype to by just punk kids who don't care about anything but their drugs or whatever it is, but boy is that wrong. It was the neatest thing to listen to these boys. They all have the biggest hearts and cared so much about the situation. I know without a doubt that these boys felt immense grief at this time. I think we all did.
I looked up grief and this is what I found...
Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss.
Keen: sharp, piercing, or biting
There really isn't a better way to describe this event. It is a piercing pain. Children are the last of anyone that something like this should happen to. I look at the age of my nieces and nephews and they are all right around that age and it makes my heart ache to think of something like that happening to them.
My biggest fear of this event is the possible repercussion. Our country has been through a lot in the last 6 months between Colorado, Oregon, and now Connecticut, and any other events similar in anyway that have probably happened. Things like this bring out a lot of anger in people, which completely makes sense. We should be mad. These things should not be happening...but they are. The only thing we can do at this point is make the good things better then the bad. It's time we start looking into our communities, finding the needs of the people, and start helping meet those needs.
It is time for a change. Times like this really bring out the ugly in the world. It shows us how bad things could get, and by could I mean they actually could...unless we make a change. At this time we need to honor those who have lost their lives in these terrible events...and by honoring them we need to spread the light to the Nation, making a change in the lives of those around us. Don't lose hope, don't lose your sight on the light of the world. The lives lost in this tragic event deserve a fight, it is them and all the children to come who we must remember and continue to fight for.
Boys in these situations have a stereotype to by just punk kids who don't care about anything but their drugs or whatever it is, but boy is that wrong. It was the neatest thing to listen to these boys. They all have the biggest hearts and cared so much about the situation. I know without a doubt that these boys felt immense grief at this time. I think we all did.
I looked up grief and this is what I found...
Grief: keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss.
Keen: sharp, piercing, or biting
There really isn't a better way to describe this event. It is a piercing pain. Children are the last of anyone that something like this should happen to. I look at the age of my nieces and nephews and they are all right around that age and it makes my heart ache to think of something like that happening to them.
My biggest fear of this event is the possible repercussion. Our country has been through a lot in the last 6 months between Colorado, Oregon, and now Connecticut, and any other events similar in anyway that have probably happened. Things like this bring out a lot of anger in people, which completely makes sense. We should be mad. These things should not be happening...but they are. The only thing we can do at this point is make the good things better then the bad. It's time we start looking into our communities, finding the needs of the people, and start helping meet those needs.
It is time for a change. Times like this really bring out the ugly in the world. It shows us how bad things could get, and by could I mean they actually could...unless we make a change. At this time we need to honor those who have lost their lives in these terrible events...and by honoring them we need to spread the light to the Nation, making a change in the lives of those around us. Don't lose hope, don't lose your sight on the light of the world. The lives lost in this tragic event deserve a fight, it is them and all the children to come who we must remember and continue to fight for.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Please tell me. Which is better??
Okay so during finals week the institute provides free food for the students, which is awesome cause I wouldn't have eaten otherwise. Anyhow on Wednesday they had pulled pork sandwiches which happen to taste great! So great in fact that I found it appropriate to eat 3. Yup 3. Am I surprised? Nope. My old roommates are just in the habit of asking me if I want their leftovers because I was always the one to say..."are you going to finish that?" It is true people. I am THAT girl.
So on the left side you have THAT girl --> the petite girl who's thighs have a two inch gap you could see through because they are SO small. Before heading to the gym she puts on her newly purchased bare minerals foundation with some extra thick mascara and lip stick. Straightens her hair and puts on her cute tank top and spandex she bought from Victoria Secrets. When she gets to the gym she goes straight to the treadmill and sets herself at a steady pace of 4.0 and never breaks a sweat...after she takes a "break" some guy gets her number and asks her on a date.
On the date she wears her cutest outfit, taking way too much time getting read. She orders a salad and a diet coke (acting like she is full from some previous meal eaten too many hours to count before this current dinner).
On the right side you have THAT girl --> The girl who throws her hair in a pony tail, a t-shirt obviously 3 sizes too big, and a pair of shorts she picked out of her pile of athletic clothing (because she has way more athletic clothing then real clothing). She gets to the gym and starts her workout on the treadmill which consists of a fast paced run and then follows it up by an hour lift session (which involves squatting, dumbbell bench press, etc). During all of this she has absolutely no desire to be touched by or looked at by a guy because she is most likely sweating more than he is.
She goes on a date, gets ready by "doing" her hair and wearing jeans a v-neck with some vans or casual shoes. She orders a burger and fries. After completing her meal she is thinking in the back of her head (ok this is lame, I. am. still. hungry. -->never seeming to be able to feel full).
Yes guys sorry to say it but it is hard to be on the girls side. Guys act like they want a "natural" girl. Pretty sure those aren't the ones frequently asked out. The worst is when a guy says, "I want an athletic girl, one that can come play sports with me etc etc." Hmm...look at the books boys, it has never been like that and it never will be. Left side wins.
Sorry if this post is dumb today, but it has been brought a couple times the last couple of days so I thought it might be worth mentioning.
So on the left side you have THAT girl --> the petite girl who's thighs have a two inch gap you could see through because they are SO small. Before heading to the gym she puts on her newly purchased bare minerals foundation with some extra thick mascara and lip stick. Straightens her hair and puts on her cute tank top and spandex she bought from Victoria Secrets. When she gets to the gym she goes straight to the treadmill and sets herself at a steady pace of 4.0 and never breaks a sweat...after she takes a "break" some guy gets her number and asks her on a date.
On the date she wears her cutest outfit, taking way too much time getting read. She orders a salad and a diet coke (acting like she is full from some previous meal eaten too many hours to count before this current dinner).
On the right side you have THAT girl --> The girl who throws her hair in a pony tail, a t-shirt obviously 3 sizes too big, and a pair of shorts she picked out of her pile of athletic clothing (because she has way more athletic clothing then real clothing). She gets to the gym and starts her workout on the treadmill which consists of a fast paced run and then follows it up by an hour lift session (which involves squatting, dumbbell bench press, etc). During all of this she has absolutely no desire to be touched by or looked at by a guy because she is most likely sweating more than he is.
She goes on a date, gets ready by "doing" her hair and wearing jeans a v-neck with some vans or casual shoes. She orders a burger and fries. After completing her meal she is thinking in the back of her head (ok this is lame, I. am. still. hungry. -->never seeming to be able to feel full).
Yes guys sorry to say it but it is hard to be on the girls side. Guys act like they want a "natural" girl. Pretty sure those aren't the ones frequently asked out. The worst is when a guy says, "I want an athletic girl, one that can come play sports with me etc etc." Hmm...look at the books boys, it has never been like that and it never will be. Left side wins.
Sorry if this post is dumb today, but it has been brought a couple times the last couple of days so I thought it might be worth mentioning.
The Source of Stress?
Last week my friend Kelli invited me to her Relief Society (that is the other class at church on Sunday that women in the LDS church go to) lesson because she was teaching. First of all, it was an amazing lesson and she did a wonderful job, and second of all it was about hope. She started her lesson talking about the different stresses life bring such as finals, dating, roommates, etc, and one that really got me thinking is the stress of the unknown.
Think about, in life the most stress comes from the things we don't know. Roommates and dirty dishes...its like there is more stress wondering if they're going to do them then the actual fact that they are there. Ya we are bugged because the dishes are there, but it is the stress of wondering whether or not you should do them. Or finals, we study the materials we were given and the notes we have but we stress out because we don't know if there is some random thing in class the teacher mentioned and is going to test us on that.
Dating: we go on dates, have a good time and what not, but it is that worry about what the other might be thinking. Are they interested? Do they want a relationship? Do you want a relationship? Is there something about them we don't know and should know? We want to tell them how we feel but we don't know how they're going to act....you see that there, we're not afraid of saying it. The fear is how they're going to react (the uncertainty of what will happen)
I'm telling you it all comes down to the unknown. The fear that is there something there we don't know or that we're not seeing. I've hit that crossroad in my life where I am graduation college and I don't know what to do and making plans for the future scares me. Do I go on a mission? Should I go to grad school? If I do what should I study (social work, speech pathology, etc) Should I just work? What if I meet someone and start dating them seriously? It is all scary because I have no idea what I should do. I mean they're all great options and would work out in my favor but which one would work BEST in my favor.
BUT--> this is where her lesson comes into play.
Hope by definition: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
Kelli made a great point: There are two words that can define life -- Hard and Hope. Life gives you hard and God gives you hope. You know what? We all have life hard one way or another and each life is so different whether the person deals with trials that are introverted or trials that are extroverted. One thing we all have in common is the ability to have hope. I personally get hope from God and the Gospel, and I think it is important for everyone to have something to give them hope whatever it may be.
So point of this post is to point out...we stress because of the things we don't know, the uncertainty, the questioning of whether it will work out or if our actions will have the outcome we wanted. And this...is where we have to have hope, faith that it will work out in the end. This hope is what helps relieve us of the stress.
Think about, in life the most stress comes from the things we don't know. Roommates and dirty dishes...its like there is more stress wondering if they're going to do them then the actual fact that they are there. Ya we are bugged because the dishes are there, but it is the stress of wondering whether or not you should do them. Or finals, we study the materials we were given and the notes we have but we stress out because we don't know if there is some random thing in class the teacher mentioned and is going to test us on that.
Dating: we go on dates, have a good time and what not, but it is that worry about what the other might be thinking. Are they interested? Do they want a relationship? Do you want a relationship? Is there something about them we don't know and should know? We want to tell them how we feel but we don't know how they're going to act....you see that there, we're not afraid of saying it. The fear is how they're going to react (the uncertainty of what will happen)
I'm telling you it all comes down to the unknown. The fear that is there something there we don't know or that we're not seeing. I've hit that crossroad in my life where I am graduation college and I don't know what to do and making plans for the future scares me. Do I go on a mission? Should I go to grad school? If I do what should I study (social work, speech pathology, etc) Should I just work? What if I meet someone and start dating them seriously? It is all scary because I have no idea what I should do. I mean they're all great options and would work out in my favor but which one would work BEST in my favor.
BUT--> this is where her lesson comes into play.
Hope by definition: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
Kelli made a great point: There are two words that can define life -- Hard and Hope. Life gives you hard and God gives you hope. You know what? We all have life hard one way or another and each life is so different whether the person deals with trials that are introverted or trials that are extroverted. One thing we all have in common is the ability to have hope. I personally get hope from God and the Gospel, and I think it is important for everyone to have something to give them hope whatever it may be.
So point of this post is to point out...we stress because of the things we don't know, the uncertainty, the questioning of whether it will work out or if our actions will have the outcome we wanted. And this...is where we have to have hope, faith that it will work out in the end. This hope is what helps relieve us of the stress.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
That Moment We All Hate
Alright so we've all had them...we all know how bad they suck. By "them" and "they", I am referring to awkward hugs. They really are the worst. My sisters are really great in that they are always honest with me...Ok maybe too honest at times but it is probably good for me to hear it. I mean if they didn't let me know some of the things I was doing were so embarrassing I could be walking around doing them and still not know. So ya consider them my saving grace. anways, I always do this stupid face when I hug people. My sisters always told me I did it but I didn't really know what they were talking about until one day I totally felt myself do it. Ha I was dying because I realized exactly what they were talking about. I look like such a goob. This picture is actually exactly what I do. It is SO dumb.
So that is just an example of the weirdness I bring to a hug...but the awkwardness, ya that is a whole different thing. Have you ever had that moment when you're walking down a hallway and someone is walking towards you and when you go to walk past them, they go to walk on that side so you keep bobbling back and forth trying to get past each other but you just keep getting in each others way...ya I do that with hugs...well not anymore. I was a sophomore in college when I learned that 95% of the time you put your head on the left side when you're hugging someone. Do you know how many times I almost hit heads with someone because of that?? Then there is the arm situation. Do you put your arms above? below? do you seat belt? What do you do when you go for a side hug and they're going for a full front on? Or other way around...you go for a full hug and you realize too late that they were going for a half hug. Or when you let go while they're still squeezing?
Today in the library I went to give my friend a hug and I thought I was being all smooth about it when one of my hands got caught on his ipod cord and the other one on his backpack strap...ya that worked real well. It is bad enough with just anyone, but when I have a crush on someone it just gets that much worse. Sophomore year this kid was sitting on his motorcycle so I go to give him a hug (remember now he is sitting on a motorcycle, therefore way shorter than me)...and I find it to be a good idea to hug under his arms. This required me to oddly bend over and while he had to try to stand up while straddling his motorcycle and it yup it just got weird real fast.
Ok now for tall girl problems...what do you do when the guy is close to your height or about 2 inches taller...do you put your arms above? Do you put them below? or how about the seatbelt hug? Ya...it just sucks and you are in a lose-lose situation. Or...what if they're way taller like 6'4 so your head is at chest level. Do you look up? So your chin is in their chest and your neck is strained. Or do you look to the side? and you can't really hear them talk to you and just feel weird. where do you put your head?!?
Talk about over thinking. I honestly get anxiety. I mean I love hugs but they freak me out every time because I ALWAYS mess them up (this is how I feel about taking the sacrament...I mean ya I love it, but I swear I mess it up every time)!! I tend to magnify things by 100 in my head when in reality they aren't even a big deal. #storyofmylifewithawkwardsituations
So that is just an example of the weirdness I bring to a hug...but the awkwardness, ya that is a whole different thing. Have you ever had that moment when you're walking down a hallway and someone is walking towards you and when you go to walk past them, they go to walk on that side so you keep bobbling back and forth trying to get past each other but you just keep getting in each others way...ya I do that with hugs...well not anymore. I was a sophomore in college when I learned that 95% of the time you put your head on the left side when you're hugging someone. Do you know how many times I almost hit heads with someone because of that?? Then there is the arm situation. Do you put your arms above? below? do you seat belt? What do you do when you go for a side hug and they're going for a full front on? Or other way around...you go for a full hug and you realize too late that they were going for a half hug. Or when you let go while they're still squeezing?
Today in the library I went to give my friend a hug and I thought I was being all smooth about it when one of my hands got caught on his ipod cord and the other one on his backpack strap...ya that worked real well. It is bad enough with just anyone, but when I have a crush on someone it just gets that much worse. Sophomore year this kid was sitting on his motorcycle so I go to give him a hug (remember now he is sitting on a motorcycle, therefore way shorter than me)...and I find it to be a good idea to hug under his arms. This required me to oddly bend over and while he had to try to stand up while straddling his motorcycle and it yup it just got weird real fast.
Ok now for tall girl problems...what do you do when the guy is close to your height or about 2 inches taller...do you put your arms above? Do you put them below? or how about the seatbelt hug? Ya...it just sucks and you are in a lose-lose situation. Or...what if they're way taller like 6'4 so your head is at chest level. Do you look up? So your chin is in their chest and your neck is strained. Or do you look to the side? and you can't really hear them talk to you and just feel weird. where do you put your head?!?
Talk about over thinking. I honestly get anxiety. I mean I love hugs but they freak me out every time because I ALWAYS mess them up (this is how I feel about taking the sacrament...I mean ya I love it, but I swear I mess it up every time)!! I tend to magnify things by 100 in my head when in reality they aren't even a big deal. #storyofmylifewithawkwardsituations
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
If You Want to Keep Your Friends, Keep Your Promises
Ya know this whole blogging thing has been really fun and thought provoking...and thank you to those who have taken the time to read it. I enjoy writing my blog at the end of the day because it really gives me a chance to think during the day. I try to keep my eyes open for topics that I would maybe like to write about, that spark interest and worth giving my opinion or thoughts on. I am helping a woman with her research for her doctorates and the stuff I do is just busy work...this results in me watching movies while I do it because well, it is either that or do it in silence. Seeing as how it is Christmas time, I have chosen Christmas movies. All the movies thus far have had good quotes in them (hence the movie quotes in a lot of my posts).
So I want to write about hurt/hate/anger today. Kind of random I know but it is very interesting the way it works. I had an encounter earlier this semester where a guy was extremely rude to me and said some very hurtful things. He is in a hard spot in life but other than being in a vulnerable position, he had absolutely no excuse for saying the things he did. Point of the story, I didn't really care. I had zero expectations from him and he just wasn't a super great friend anyways, so the whole "event" didn't bother me much and was easy to get over. Yes for about a day it bothered me but then I realized I didn't care cause the guy holds no real precedence over my life....so, the reason I bring all this up...
I had an encounter today that brought up pain from past events. It reminded me of how angry I was and how much it hurt me and I realized...The only time we ever REALLY "hate" someone or hold on to anger is when someone who is actually important in our lives hurts us or wrongs us. It doesn't really effect us when random people do dumb or hurtful things, I mean ya it might offend us for a minute (a day or two), but we get over it. It is the people we rely on, love, open our heart to. When a parent hurts a child (in an emotional way) a child holds onto that, they feel the pain for a long time. When a friend betrays a friend it hurts because you put your trust in that person, you let yourself be vulnerable...and man that feeling of ignorance or naivety really stings. And once you've been let down it is hard to put that trust in someone again...sometimes it feels easier to not have expectations because, "where there is no expectations, there is no disappointment."
I watched Jingle All the Way today and the little boy says, "If you want to keep your friends, keep your promises"and it is so true. One of my biggest faults is I spread myself too thin. I want to be involved in everything so I tend to over commit which can end up leaving people hanging. This is something I realized about a year ago when someone else who does the same thing did it to me. They over committed and I found myself waiting around and being disappointed quite frequently...that is when it really hit me...Kami, "It is easier to hear a friend say no in the first place then to have them say yes and then bail on you later". My mom is always saying --> be impeccable with your word: do what you say your going to do. I do my best to live by that, I know I still mess up at times but I know I am a lot better now.
I guess the point of this post is...it hard to open your heart up to friends, family, dating, it sucks being hurt. That kind of anger and hurt can be hard to let go of, but it is important that we do...people don't mean to hurt us, they are just trying to do what is best for their lives. Yes, sometimes their viewpoint may be quite askew and their actions completely baffling, but it is important that we understand that sometimes we just won't understand... (The whole agree to disagree thing). We need to forgive, let go of the hurt...but also, we need to watch our actions. Be aware of how your actions may hurt those around you, make a full assessment before making decisions...you owe it to the ones you love and care about.
So I want to write about hurt/hate/anger today. Kind of random I know but it is very interesting the way it works. I had an encounter earlier this semester where a guy was extremely rude to me and said some very hurtful things. He is in a hard spot in life but other than being in a vulnerable position, he had absolutely no excuse for saying the things he did. Point of the story, I didn't really care. I had zero expectations from him and he just wasn't a super great friend anyways, so the whole "event" didn't bother me much and was easy to get over. Yes for about a day it bothered me but then I realized I didn't care cause the guy holds no real precedence over my life....so, the reason I bring all this up...
I had an encounter today that brought up pain from past events. It reminded me of how angry I was and how much it hurt me and I realized...The only time we ever REALLY "hate" someone or hold on to anger is when someone who is actually important in our lives hurts us or wrongs us. It doesn't really effect us when random people do dumb or hurtful things, I mean ya it might offend us for a minute (a day or two), but we get over it. It is the people we rely on, love, open our heart to. When a parent hurts a child (in an emotional way) a child holds onto that, they feel the pain for a long time. When a friend betrays a friend it hurts because you put your trust in that person, you let yourself be vulnerable...and man that feeling of ignorance or naivety really stings. And once you've been let down it is hard to put that trust in someone again...sometimes it feels easier to not have expectations because, "where there is no expectations, there is no disappointment."
I watched Jingle All the Way today and the little boy says, "If you want to keep your friends, keep your promises"and it is so true. One of my biggest faults is I spread myself too thin. I want to be involved in everything so I tend to over commit which can end up leaving people hanging. This is something I realized about a year ago when someone else who does the same thing did it to me. They over committed and I found myself waiting around and being disappointed quite frequently...that is when it really hit me...Kami, "It is easier to hear a friend say no in the first place then to have them say yes and then bail on you later". My mom is always saying --> be impeccable with your word: do what you say your going to do. I do my best to live by that, I know I still mess up at times but I know I am a lot better now.
I guess the point of this post is...it hard to open your heart up to friends, family, dating, it sucks being hurt. That kind of anger and hurt can be hard to let go of, but it is important that we do...people don't mean to hurt us, they are just trying to do what is best for their lives. Yes, sometimes their viewpoint may be quite askew and their actions completely baffling, but it is important that we understand that sometimes we just won't understand... (The whole agree to disagree thing). We need to forgive, let go of the hurt...but also, we need to watch our actions. Be aware of how your actions may hurt those around you, make a full assessment before making decisions...you owe it to the ones you love and care about.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Brick In Your Pocket
Today's post is a special tribute to my father. My father passed away 13 years ago as a victim to stomach cancer. After 6 short months it took his life. Loss of a loved one is a very hard thing and something that can take years to get over if you do "get" over it. If you have ever seen the movie Rabbit Hole, there is a small conversation that talks about the pain of losing a loved one and this is what is said.
Becca: Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't - has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Becca: How?
Nat: I don't know... the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and... carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you... you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and - there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be aweful - not all the time. It's kinda...
[deep breath]
Nat: not that you'd like it exactly, but it's what you've got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh... it doesn't go away. Which is...
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.
This is how I would explain the loss of my father...I go on with life, the way it is now is pretty much how I know it. Then big events like Sr. day come around, or graduation, or a birthday etc and you... remember him...(ha or that awkward moment on a date when they ask you what your dad does and you have to tell them he passed away...which is fine but you know they feel super awkward so it is just funny)
I would say it wasn't until I was a freshman in college that I really came to terms with my father's death. I am now able to think of him and think of happy times. He is not lost or forgotten, just parted from my earthly presence for a short time. On the movie You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelley says, "as long as you hold somone in your heart, you can never lose them". It is so very true. My father will always be with me, in my heart.
I know my father is with me and loves me and watches over me and I know without a doubt that I will be with him again someday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
Here is poem I wrote in 8th grade about him...ha it is super cheesy and not the greatest but thought I'd share it....
Every day he did my hair in pig tails or a braid
He always read my favorite books but, my memories seem to fade.
My memories of this story are extermely slim
So through the very many facts I will seem to skim
I walked into that little room to see him lying there.
Not knowing he was sick, too young to even care.
His days were coming to an end an end unknown to all
His body weak and fragile but his heart so big and tall
My very own hero, the bravest I ever knew.
He would die for anyone, he would've died for you.
As the weeks passed by, the days drew near.
The pain grew strong, the end was near.
One October night as breathing began to slow.
He knew in his heart it was time to let go,
He died that night a hero to people far and wide.
He was my best friend, he was always by my side.
My chest is hollow my heart is broken.
My longing for him will be forever unspoken.
At night I cry myself to sleep wishing he was here.
But now I know deep inside he is very near.
I try so hard to do my best even when I'm sad.
In life I'll always care the most for my number one my dad.
Becca: Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don't think it does. Not for me, it hasn't - has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Becca: How?
Nat: I don't know... the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and... carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you... you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and - there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be aweful - not all the time. It's kinda...
[deep breath]
Nat: not that you'd like it exactly, but it's what you've got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh... it doesn't go away. Which is...
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.
This is how I would explain the loss of my father...I go on with life, the way it is now is pretty much how I know it. Then big events like Sr. day come around, or graduation, or a birthday etc and you... remember him...(ha or that awkward moment on a date when they ask you what your dad does and you have to tell them he passed away...which is fine but you know they feel super awkward so it is just funny)
I would say it wasn't until I was a freshman in college that I really came to terms with my father's death. I am now able to think of him and think of happy times. He is not lost or forgotten, just parted from my earthly presence for a short time. On the movie You've Got Mail, Kathleen Kelley says, "as long as you hold somone in your heart, you can never lose them". It is so very true. My father will always be with me, in my heart.
I know my father is with me and loves me and watches over me and I know without a doubt that I will be with him again someday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!
Here is poem I wrote in 8th grade about him...ha it is super cheesy and not the greatest but thought I'd share it....
Every day he did my hair in pig tails or a braid
He always read my favorite books but, my memories seem to fade.
My memories of this story are extermely slim
So through the very many facts I will seem to skim
I walked into that little room to see him lying there.
Not knowing he was sick, too young to even care.
His days were coming to an end an end unknown to all
His body weak and fragile but his heart so big and tall
My very own hero, the bravest I ever knew.
He would die for anyone, he would've died for you.
As the weeks passed by, the days drew near.
The pain grew strong, the end was near.
One October night as breathing began to slow.
He knew in his heart it was time to let go,
He died that night a hero to people far and wide.
He was my best friend, he was always by my side.
My chest is hollow my heart is broken.
My longing for him will be forever unspoken.
At night I cry myself to sleep wishing he was here.
But now I know deep inside he is very near.
I try so hard to do my best even when I'm sad.
In life I'll always care the most for my number one my dad.
Without Faith We Only Have Doubt
Okay so I'll be honest, I haven't had much of a desire to get out and "party" lately. I spend a lot of my time participating in relaxing activities. However tonight my friend Molli and I thought it'd be good to get out. So we went to the basketball game and stayed for the whole thing. Yup you heard it, the WHOLE thing. It was actually pretty fun. Then Molli, Kendra, Trevor, Andrew and I went to Charlie's (ice cream parlor). It was a blast, Charlie's is always a good fun time to hang out and chat with friends. I love nothing more than my chocolate with brownies shake (but you have to have it made chunky). And now for the best part of the night...we went to my house, got in our p.j.'s, turned on the Christmas lights, made some hot chocolate and popped in the classic, "Miracle on 34th Street". It was so great to just lay by the Christmas tree and watch a movie. That movie is just so great and really brings the Christmas spirit.
There is a scene, right before Kris Kringle is going to do an interview thing and he is in a room with Dori walker and they say...
Dorey Walker: I don't think that there's any harm in not believing in a figure that many do acknowledge to be a fiction.
Kris Kringle: Oh, but there is. I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I... I... I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If... you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt.
I absolutely loved this line. It really is so true in the case of life. Almost everything we do involves faith and trust in everyone around us. Yes we will be let down, we will be disappointed, but if we don't give someone the chance to rise to the occasion, we will all be stuck. It is the same thing when it comes to love and when it comes to God. Dating is hard, being vulnerable and letting our hearts open can be very uncomfortable, but if we never open our hearts to the possibilities then we will live alone, in the dark. The same goes with God. We can't see Him as a being but you can see his work everywhere, it really is in every part of our lives. If we don't have faith then all we have is doubt and darkness...what kind of life is that?
You know what, in the end I may be wrong about it all. I may be wrong about God, about the beauty in people, and about life in general....but in the end I will have lived a life full of light and faith which is much better than the horrible feeling of doubt and darkness. Some may call this ignorance but I call it hope. And hope truly is a way to bring you through the tough times you never imagined you could make it through...
Ha I guess I'll have to take my own advice then when it comes to dating...to be ok with fully opening up. Heart break is terrible and it hurts both emotionally and physically at times, but the relationships are worth the lessons learned, growth, and fun times.
Well that is all for today.
There is a scene, right before Kris Kringle is going to do an interview thing and he is in a room with Dori walker and they say...
Dorey Walker: I don't think that there's any harm in not believing in a figure that many do acknowledge to be a fiction.
Kris Kringle: Oh, but there is. I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanor. You know, I... I... I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of the human ability to be able to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If... you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt.
I absolutely loved this line. It really is so true in the case of life. Almost everything we do involves faith and trust in everyone around us. Yes we will be let down, we will be disappointed, but if we don't give someone the chance to rise to the occasion, we will all be stuck. It is the same thing when it comes to love and when it comes to God. Dating is hard, being vulnerable and letting our hearts open can be very uncomfortable, but if we never open our hearts to the possibilities then we will live alone, in the dark. The same goes with God. We can't see Him as a being but you can see his work everywhere, it really is in every part of our lives. If we don't have faith then all we have is doubt and darkness...what kind of life is that?
You know what, in the end I may be wrong about it all. I may be wrong about God, about the beauty in people, and about life in general....but in the end I will have lived a life full of light and faith which is much better than the horrible feeling of doubt and darkness. Some may call this ignorance but I call it hope. And hope truly is a way to bring you through the tough times you never imagined you could make it through...
Ha I guess I'll have to take my own advice then when it comes to dating...to be ok with fully opening up. Heart break is terrible and it hurts both emotionally and physically at times, but the relationships are worth the lessons learned, growth, and fun times.
Well that is all for today.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Christmas Time
Okay so I've obviously watched You've Got Mail a bajillion times. However I purchased Jack Frost yesterday so Molli and I thought we'd give it a go. Well we both fell asleep last night watching it so today we put it on again and ya, fell asleep again, so we started it again where we fell asleep. Except we were just watching it in the dark and I wasn't feeling that super great Christmasy feeling about the movie (which is the point of watching a Christmas movie) and I realized why. My Christmas tree lights weren't on!
I absolutely love Christmas lights...so I stood up off of my lazy butt and plugged them lights right in...honestly right when I plugged them in they brought a whole new "aura" to the room. Christmas was there. Boy I love Christmas, everything about it. As much as I can dislike the snow, I really hope we have a white Christmas. There is nothing like a white Christmas. But...I also love the caroling, the music, THE LIGHTS, the joy that is filling the hearts of everyone, that bit of worry of what to give your family, that awkward feeling of what friends to give a gift to and which ones it is okay not to but then you still feel bad but then look in your bank account and don't feel TOO bad anymore.
So with the lights thing...I am going to make one of my silly analogy connection things.
The regular time of the year (as in not Christmas time) can seem dark and dreary, lacking that little something we like to call the Christmas spirit...but as soon as Christmas rolls around, there it is just "brightening" up everyone's day/night. I'm telling you it's the Christmas lights. I would like to liken them to the light of Christ. He is with us year round but it seems as soon as Christmas is over we tend to tuck Him away and then when the season rolls around again we look to Him, we remember Him, we SEE him. It is the same thing with the lights, we put them up in the attic and let them get dusty...But then here comes December again and we pull them out, replace the broken bulbs and arrange them beautiful on the trees and roof tops lighting up the neighborhood, living room, etc. Sometimes we even forget to take them down but don't really want to use them --> Which but this one I mean sometimes it is there, Christ is with us but we forget to "turn Him on". We forget to look to Him, to see Him.
I guess the point of this post is to say how much I love how Christmas lights really bring the spirit of Christmas, they remind us of the light of Christ and how strong it really is. How by simply turning to Him (plugging the lights in brightens the room) can really brighten our lives, give us guidance, or simply warm our hearts with the comfort we're not alone.
I love Christmas...I love the lights...if you're watching a movie, turn on your Christmas lights and remember what I said. It will make the movie SO much better!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Where did I get my blog name from?
So if you're reading this (which the odds are slim cause I don't really have readers) you may be wondering how I got the name of my blog...
Alright so if you haven't seen it already, you need to see "You've Got Mail". As of a week ago it is my favorite movie of all time. I have had it replaying the entire time I am home for the last week....and I am not exaggerating when I saw the ENTIRE time I am home. I just like to hear it in the background while I'm doing other tasks or work. It is funny, witty, emotional, weird, and just darn cute.
So here the little conversation that I just love and really got me thinking
Joe Fox: It wasn't... personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.
This line just kills me because of how true it is. When do you ever have an encounter with someone and it isn't personal in someway to at least one side of the party? Even at a store, the person buyin is in need of something and the person selling needs the money and is obviously working a job for a reason. So how is that not personal?
I just I just feel like our reason for living is to love and to learn to love. What is money without someone to spend it with? The world is so controlling of our minds pressuring us to "be successful". We get so caught up with our lives that we forget how to live. We forget to open our eyes. We get so worked up LOOKING that we forget to really SEE what is in front of us.
Living in an LDS environment and being in college really puts pressure on the "dating" area. Well I am a senior in college and have experienced my fair share of dating. Let's just say I've been able to see what I do and DON'T want in a future spouse. It's hard because you want a guy that is motivated, successful, and really strives to accomplish his goals...but at the same time it's scary because you also don't want a guy that is overly stressed and the workaholic type. No woman wants to raise their children on their own, to have their husband gone all the time. I would love to have a FAMILY.
But anyways...the reason I have been ranting about the last few topics that seem to be off topic is cause 1-I always blab for hours and 2-it'll lead back to the topic.
I've just realized in the past few relationships and experiences in life is that...I love people. I love being personal. Getting to really KNOW people and their stories and learn to understand why it is they are the way they are. Everything we do in life IS personal whether we want it to be or not. If it doesn't matter to you, odds are it matters to the other person.
So...thats where I got it, oughttobeginwithpersonal. I am going to do my best to live by that...being personal.
Well thats all
-The brain itself
Alright so if you haven't seen it already, you need to see "You've Got Mail". As of a week ago it is my favorite movie of all time. I have had it replaying the entire time I am home for the last week....and I am not exaggerating when I saw the ENTIRE time I am home. I just like to hear it in the background while I'm doing other tasks or work. It is funny, witty, emotional, weird, and just darn cute.
So here the little conversation that I just love and really got me thinking
Joe Fox: It wasn't... personal.
Kathleen Kelly: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?
Joe Fox: Uh, nothing.
Kathleen Kelly: Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal.
This line just kills me because of how true it is. When do you ever have an encounter with someone and it isn't personal in someway to at least one side of the party? Even at a store, the person buyin is in need of something and the person selling needs the money and is obviously working a job for a reason. So how is that not personal?
I just I just feel like our reason for living is to love and to learn to love. What is money without someone to spend it with? The world is so controlling of our minds pressuring us to "be successful". We get so caught up with our lives that we forget how to live. We forget to open our eyes. We get so worked up LOOKING that we forget to really SEE what is in front of us.
Living in an LDS environment and being in college really puts pressure on the "dating" area. Well I am a senior in college and have experienced my fair share of dating. Let's just say I've been able to see what I do and DON'T want in a future spouse. It's hard because you want a guy that is motivated, successful, and really strives to accomplish his goals...but at the same time it's scary because you also don't want a guy that is overly stressed and the workaholic type. No woman wants to raise their children on their own, to have their husband gone all the time. I would love to have a FAMILY.
But anyways...the reason I have been ranting about the last few topics that seem to be off topic is cause 1-I always blab for hours and 2-it'll lead back to the topic.
I've just realized in the past few relationships and experiences in life is that...I love people. I love being personal. Getting to really KNOW people and their stories and learn to understand why it is they are the way they are. Everything we do in life IS personal whether we want it to be or not. If it doesn't matter to you, odds are it matters to the other person.
So...thats where I got it, oughttobeginwithpersonal. I am going to do my best to live by that...being personal.
Well thats all
-The brain itself
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
30 Day Run
Okay so I don't know if you have ever heard of Ted Talks, but they are amazing. It is ted.com and it is a bunch of different talks created by wonderful innovative people who want to share their ideas...and they are all ideas worth sharing.
So there are 2 talks that I really thoroughly enjoy and they are kind of a combination so here I am combining the two. The first one is titled "Sarah Kay: If I Should Have a Daughter" and the second one is "Matt Cutts: Try Something New for 30 Days" I highly recommend you listen to both of them because they are great! So I love the Sarah Kay one because she is a representation of the beauty of poetry and spoken word poetry. I love everything about her poem and even more about the way she presented it. Her actual talk part got me super pumped about poetry and trying spoken word poetry. I haven't quite got that far but I do want to start writing more and work in that direction. Well that is where Matt Cutts comes into the picture -to try something new for 30 days. So here it is, I am going to blog everyday for 30 days. They may be short, long, poems, thoughts etc etc. I have made my blog more visually appealing so I hope you like it.
Sarah Kay suggests to start with a prompt of 10 things you know to be true. I have posted the list on the side of my blog in the "about me" section, but I will re post them here just for the sake of sharing it.
2. I love people
3. My mom is my best friend
4. The Gospel makes me happy
5. Happiness is a choice
6. There is beauty in each day
7. 95% of daily "problems don't matter
8. Being a friend is the best thing you can be
9. It never hurts to ask
10. People will tell you with or without words, you just have to listen.
So consider this post number 1.
So there are 2 talks that I really thoroughly enjoy and they are kind of a combination so here I am combining the two. The first one is titled "Sarah Kay: If I Should Have a Daughter" and the second one is "Matt Cutts: Try Something New for 30 Days" I highly recommend you listen to both of them because they are great! So I love the Sarah Kay one because she is a representation of the beauty of poetry and spoken word poetry. I love everything about her poem and even more about the way she presented it. Her actual talk part got me super pumped about poetry and trying spoken word poetry. I haven't quite got that far but I do want to start writing more and work in that direction. Well that is where Matt Cutts comes into the picture -to try something new for 30 days. So here it is, I am going to blog everyday for 30 days. They may be short, long, poems, thoughts etc etc. I have made my blog more visually appealing so I hope you like it.
Sarah Kay suggests to start with a prompt of 10 things you know to be true. I have posted the list on the side of my blog in the "about me" section, but I will re post them here just for the sake of sharing it.
10 Things I Know to be True
1. Shit Happens (sorry about the language)2. I love people
3. My mom is my best friend
4. The Gospel makes me happy
5. Happiness is a choice
6. There is beauty in each day
7. 95% of daily "problems don't matter
8. Being a friend is the best thing you can be
9. It never hurts to ask
10. People will tell you with or without words, you just have to listen.
So consider this post number 1.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Some Things are Just Different Than We Thought
I had options big and small of where to go to school
To choose to be the underdog some said I was a fool
The fitness test was my first feat I made that test my "B"
I was excited for how I'd done and the path in front of me
Each day that came I gave my all, I thought I'd earn a spot
But as time passed I didn't play it was different then I thought
I did not quit, my head held high I continued to believe
Whatever it takes I'll do my best til she see's the light in me
Three years passed by and here I sit still bottom of the chart
My role is different then I thought, at times it breaks my heart
To say it has been easy would be a bold faced lie
People ask how I've stayed, these are my reasons why
Over time it has become about much more then a game
I'm not here for stats or glory definitely not for fame
I've come to see that playing time is not number one
It is not worth my efforts if I'm not having fun
I've come to see that playing time is not number one
It is not worth my efforts if I'm not having fun
I love soccer it makes me smile it is my stress release
Even when life gets hard, on the field I feel at peace
Soccer is the one place I can leave my worries behind
When I'm here I feel great it gives me peace of mind
I am a member of a team that means the world to me
They are much more then teammates, they are my family
When life is hard they help me see the beauty all around
They change the mountain in front of me to a little mound
Each day I spend hours with the funniest girls in town
There's no way to be with them and try to wear a frown
The laughter is quite common and never ever ends
I am blessed to have 30 of the greatest best friends
They change the mountain in front of me to a little mound
Each day I spend hours with the funniest girls in town
There's no way to be with them and try to wear a frown
The laughter is quite common and never ever ends
I am blessed to have 30 of the greatest best friends
Soccer has been a blessing and still makes me happy
Of course it has its ups and downs but that's a guarantee
When one looks at me confused of why I still play
Those are a few of my answers, that is what I say.
Of course it has its ups and downs but that's a guarantee
When one looks at me confused of why I still play
Those are a few of my answers, that is what I say.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
The Saviors Light in Life
You wish to be dealt another card
Don’t hang your head it’s not the end
Your aches and sorrows He will mend
Your savior loves you and felt your pain
He sacrificed for your eternal gain
You try so hard but still seem to sin
It seems as if Satan continues to win
Christ knows your trying and doing your best
Whatever you do He’ll love you no less
Put forth effort and do your part
Keep striving for a change of heart
Through repentance you will be clean
In your countenance His light will gleam
The only thing He asks of you
Is to think of Him in all you do
To be like him is the lasting goal
And as you do He’ll clean your soul
Keep on pushing with all your might
He’ll guide your life with truth and light
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